Walk A Mile In My Shoes Before You Judge Me (Or Anyone With Chronic Illness)!

Hi Everyone!

The aim of this post is two fold. I want to get my feelings down on paper & then move on. The other it to let people know that they are not alone – whether it be people judging them as to how sick they are, commenting on their weight or anything else where one person is made to feel bad about themselves. I’m also hoping this post will get people thinking about how their actions might be perceived by others, even if it is not in the intended way.

I’m in the initial throws of another phase of fatigue. I’m sure you’ll all be able to understand how much the situation I found myself in upset me.

I popped in to Lidl to pick up some chocolate, as it’s the only place I can get chocolate that doesn’t contain dairy & is a reasonable price! I buy in bulk so I don’t have to walk down too often, particularly in the cold.

The staff know me by sight as I’m in there at least once a week. The assistant on the till today asked me if I had a sweet tooth, a friendly question. He followed it up by saying he was surprised I had any teeth left! Still in a friendly manner. I told him that I crave sugar because of my meds. “Fair enough” he said.  “Not really” I replied, “I’ve put on 2 & 1/2st as a result!” All very friendly. It was at this point the woman behind me tutted!

I know looking back on it, she could have been tutting about anything. It really felt it was aimed at me though.

As I walked home, my brain was going into overdrive with thoughts like like ‘how dare she?’ & ‘what does she think gives her the right to judge me!’ It was this last thought that prompted me to write this post.

She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know how ill I was before I started on Gabapentin. She also doesn’t know that I have lost 12lb & at my heaviest was 11st 10lb!

At the end of the day, if I dwell on her judgment of me it will only upset me, which won’t solve anything. This was something my Dad used to tell me when I was upset & I’ve only just been able to understand its importance!

So I’m going to put my Dad’s advice to good use by writing about my experience & then forgetting all about it. My friends & family accept & support me. Why should I care what other people think of me!?! After all, you could be the juiciest, ripest peach & there’ll always be someone who doesn’t like peach!

Have you found yourself in a situation where you’re being judged because of your condition?

How have/would you deal with it?

I hope you’re all having a low pain, low fatigue day!

Tania Xx